As the moon

Time fades from your grasp,
Waxing and waning before you without rhythm
As gentle as the moon filled prairie breeze on a warm and starry night
But as cruel as the beasts that stalk you, just beyond the twilight
The days where you knew you fucked up
and the days you never thought you’d miss
Will always be carried heavily, as a melancholy torment within
As they were reckless and never cherished
What could have been, what was never seen
Opportunities left un-seized, and priorities forgotten
The wonders of love, beauty and knowledge, shrouded and sealed away
Left to only be watched from afar, as a reflective, clouded, mockery to all of your mistakes
Now and forever but a dream lost in time, to slowly manifest into a nightmare
To watch that dream which could have been and ache with regret
To find it in your mind and bargain with it as you bask in its torment
To realize that the harder you try to go back, the faster you go forward
And to deny it, by creating your own dream inside, of what you never achieved
What was once seen, and what is now
The golden, life filled sun and, the pale, hate stricken moon
The cruel dichotomy of past fantasies conceived and ever-present realities discovered
Accompanied by the dark, descending spiral ahead, disguised as heaven’s paradise
As time fades from my grasp
Waxing and waning before me without rhythm
I find myself dreaming, instead of living
I start to find happiness in my mind rather than my world
I wait for every day to end, so that the night may begin
So I may rise as the moon does,
and dream